Justice League

Justice League is a 2017 American superhero film directed by both Zack Snyder and Joss Whedon at separate points in production, featuring a screenplay written by Chris Terrio and Joss Whedon, who, once again, came onboard much later in production, with the main story being written by Snyder and Terrio. Based upon the superhero team of the same name as created by DC Comics, Justice League is the fifth installment in the DC Extended Universe following 2013’s Man of Steel, 2016’s Batman vs. Superman: Dawn of Justice and Suicide Squad, and this year’s Wonder Woman. The film features an ensemble cast including Ben Affleck, Henry Cavill, Amy Adams, Gal Gadot, Ezra Miller, Jason Momoa, Ray Fisher, Jeremy Irons, Diane Lane, Connie Nielsen, and J.K. Simmons.

Following the events of Dawn Of Justice, Bruce Wayne and Diana Prince are inspired by Superman’s sacrifice and set out to assemble a team of metahumans to fight against powerful threats to humankind. Meanwhile, the villainous Steppenwolf comes to Earth in search of the three Mother Boxes.

It is no secret that the DCEU, Warner Brothers’ answer to the Marvel Cinematic Universe, has been on shaky ground from the word go. While I didn’t hate Man of Steel, it was by no means remarkable, nor would I even call it “pretty good.” It was decidedly “eh.” The two efforts that followed, Batman v Superman and Suicide Squad, were train wrecks of the highest (or lowest, depending on perspective) order. I couldn’t even get through the first fifteen minutes of Suicide Squad it was so bad. I set out to review it knowing it was pretty much a dumpster fire of a movie, and I couldn’t even handle it knowing that. It should be telling that it took them until Wonder Woman, the fourth film in the series, to make a solid, objectively good film.

It is no secret that I am not a fan of Zack Snyder as a director and I consider him to be an absolutely atrocious screenwriter. I am not a fan of any film he has directed so far; I have nothing against him as a person. Midway through production of this film, Snyder’s daughter tragically committed suicide during production of this film, leading to Joss Whedon replacing him. Whedon edited Snyder’s screenplay and had control over reshooots and editing of the film. All of this production drama led me to expect a trainwreck on par with Suicide Squad. I was expecting it to be, at the very least, interesting in its badness.

I was ultimately disappointed by Justice League in a multitude of ways. It was not horrible, it was not a travesty of cinema, but it was also not good nor memorable in any way, shape, or form. Batman vs. Superman, as bad as it was, at least tried to do something. It tried to be a thing. Justice League is the cinematic equivalent of saltine crackers.

From the opening five minutes, I was quite bored. There’s no fun to be had here, no enjoyment to get out of this. It’s not even incompetent. It is an entirely competent, well-constructed piece of bleh.

When the DC Extended Universe was first becoming a thing, Justice League was meant to be split into two films. People are guessing that Batman vs. Superman alongside the two Justice League films were meant to comprise a trilogy, with Batman vs. Superman being a combination of the (very famous in comic book circles) stories The Dark Knight Returns and The Death of Superman. Batman v. Superman was always (probably) to end in the climactic death of the world’s best-known allegory for Jesus Christ, with the ending of the first Justice League movie being his triumphant return, and the second film being the whole team fighting together. On paper, it sounds amazing.

Obviously, it didn’t work out that way. Batman vs. Superman was a terrible mess and the death of Superman had absolutely no impact. As a result, the Powers That Be refused to take any kind of risk with this film and hacked what was on paper an excellent plan into a milquetoast bore fest that had me wanting to fall asleep in the middle of it. There’s nothing interesting about it. Superman’s Resurrection is seen as more of a practical plot point than an emotional one, and nobody in the audience felt any way about it. It’s only a big part of the movie for maybe ten minutes. Afterwards, no one seemed to care, not even Superman. It is obvious this was meant to be a much longer movie (God forbid), with emotional story beats that were supposed to be there missing throughout.

The cast is good, but they are straight up phoning it in. Ben Affleck looks fat and uninterested. Nobody in this film is really into it, and it shows. The CGI was wildly inconsistent; the last third was an entirely CGI battle that was very uninteresting and boring. I literally am not going to stop using that word, because it is a perfect descriptor. It was so boring, I’m unapologetically phoning in this review. It’s not worth expending a lot of energy talking about more minute details.

Warner Brothers was so scared of another monstrous failure that they made a film that was so factory-ready, competent, and inoffensive that it was boring. It was so very boring. It shouldn’t be boring, but it was. I can’t emphasize the boredom enough. I don’t really know what else to say.

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